Mr. Perfect

      Me: Why do I fit so perfectly in your arms?

      Him: Maybe you were made that way.

      It was spontaneous. It was perfect.

      Yeah I just came inside from that... Now back to reality. Because I can not get him out of my mind, here is to you Mr. Perfect.

      There are always reasons for loving people. But its not generally the things listed. People love each other more often because of compatible personalities. It is most often phrased as "he/she just gets me" as in, they understand you. This would mean that talking together is a pleasant experience, you can be totally relaxed in their company, and you aren't afriad of them judging you negatively, because they know you well enough to understand the deisions you make, and why you make them. Even if a decision is a mistake, they won't bother you, but will try to help instead.

      People try a lot to control their minds and remove bad qualities; Still they don't succeed; But, I observed that by only once falling in love, my mind was purified to a level which would have been very difficult to achieve by myself.

♥because he is him ♥ he's special ♥ he's amazing ♥ I can be myself around him ♥ I can talk to him about anything ♥ he cares about me ♥ he loves me ♥ he trusts me and I trust him ♥ he's funny 

♥ he's crazy ♥ he's loyal ♥ he's honest ♥ he's my dream ♥ he takes my breath away ♥ no guy makes me nervous but him ♥ I can't explain him in words because he is him 

♥ there's no reason but him ♥ he is the reason I love him ♥

Yes. Cliché I know. I talked about love. Get over yourself. 

My True Colors Are Starting To Get Loud

It is sad to me that we only show 10% of who we actually are at school. Imagine a world where we showed 100% of who we rfeally are. Though it may be a little cray, at least we were true to ourselves. I know for a fact I show only about 3% of who I really am in class. Especially in this class. I am scared of what you all might think of me. I nervous that people will judge. Yes. I am the one who still puts my arm over what I am writing in class so that no one can get into my head. Yes I close my journal as fast as I can and shove it in my backpack, so that those people who are "out to get me" don't read it. 

Maybe it was just me being paranoid, or maybe I am scared you will see my true colors. Well do you want to see what my colors are? What I think? Here you go. Judge all you want. You don't know who I am.

RED:

• danger
• energy
• hate
• love
• madness
• sexuality
• courage
• suffering
• violence

YELLOW:

• signal
• uncertainty
• confidence
• expression
• forgiveness
• inspiration
• power
• laughter
• young

BLUE:

• authority
• self control
• cleanliness
• order
• confidence
• depression
• dignity
• honesty
• logic
• intelligence

WHITE:

• clean
• pure
• lie
• happy
• calm
• schedule
• where?
• year
• lost

GREEN:

• adventure
• peaceful
• comfort
• environment
• faith
• freedom
• good luck
• grass
• growth
• health

• pain
• sin
• passion
• rage
• beauty
• rescue
• aggression
• battle
• warmth

• logic
• caution
• light
• optimism
• happiness
• satisfaction
• uncertainty
• brightness
• warning

• loyalty
• trust
• quietness
• responsibility
• sadness
• depth
• security
• calmness
• hope
• value

• order
• exact
• hiding
• daydream
• not me
• old
• weird
• gorgeous
• elegant

• laziness
• life
• nature
• progress
• quietness
• relaxation
• renewal
• reproduction
• safety
• sincerity

↫I can Be↬

↫Who is Ashlyn Ellis you might ask? Who the hell knows. I sure don't. Some might say shes a nobody. Some might say she is a somebody. What they dont know is no one really knows her. Whats the point of hiding who we are anyway? Aren't we taught to be real? Not that you really care anyway. I mean lets get real, I have to open myself up to people who don't care. I don't care either, but secretly I do. First impressions are hard. I could spend a lifetime trying to avoid talking about myself but lets just cut to it.↬

↫What people might want to know about me is if you are reading this, you probably scare me. Weird. I know. This blog is not going to be about what I like or things I have done that I want to show off. It will be about how I hide at lunch an write and forget. It will be about the days that I quite frankly want to rage, the days I feel lonely, and the days I feel happy. [Insert Name Here] is now Ashlyn and it never felt so good. For once I can hide and be brave at the same time. I can be myself. I can be timid but adveturous. I can be weak and fervent. I can be in Utah but in Paris. I can be shallow and deep. I can be wrong and right, dead and alive, polite and rude, dangerous and safe. I can be me. Ashlyn is the new me. She will help me be who I really am. The me who is scared to death but wants to speak out. Ashlyn will be there when I  need the strength to pull through, to speak out, to be me, to help someone, to tell you what I always wanted to say. ↬

So back to the first question. Who is Ashlyn Ellis?

I.

AM.

ASHLYN.

ELLIS.